Top Ten Screen Satans
Yay for the good guys. Wheeeee! Well that was fun. Happy endings are good sometimes but mostly I like ‘em dark. As a horror fan, I find particular joy in the pain and suffering of others…on screen. And some of my favorite roles have been those of Old Scratch. Face it, he is just more fun. If you wanna go out on the town, you ain’t invitin’ the Man Upstairs to join you at the nudie bar. No one can throw down like Old Nick. So what I have done here is I have gone through my mental directory and pulled out all the film versions of The Wicked One that I have enjoyed over the years. And then I have given them to you as follows. Some of them may not exactly be THE Devil, but I just might sell my soul to each and every one. They make going to Hell seem not quite so bad…if only we could believe their lines of bull.
Top Ten Devil Dudes:
10. Robert DeNiro in Angel Heart – So maybe I never pictured Satan with a ponytail and a manservant to polish his extra-long nails but,eh. This was a fun role to be sure. I always love how Hollywood portrays the devil. Just because “Louis Cyphre” (I admit it got me the first time) is pure evil that doesn’t mean he can’t have a sense of style.
9. Jamey Sheridan in The Stand – Randall Flagg is another of my faves…or The Walking Man if you prefer. But Randall Flagg is just a badass name if you ask me. I have always loved the laid back way that Sheridan approached this role. All right fine. So King says he wanted Flagg to represent “ a gigantic evil” rather than Satan himself. I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. I never thought the King of Mean would have a mullet…but back then I just went with it. (Maven sings…”I heard about him but I never dreamed…he’d have blue eyes and blue jeans” anyone? Eh.)
8. Max Von Sydow in Needful Things – Leland Gaunt is another version of Lucifer (or some such related being) that I have always enjoyed. Man that’s two from Stephen King. Look at him go. Looks like he has a penchant for the eviiiiil, and I am digging it. His portrayal isn’t exactly what I would call sexy or alluring in that dirty way but Max pours on the bad boy pretty hard. He is creepily evil.
7. Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate – Hehe Now this is exactly what I’m talking about. If you had access to all the power you wanted…if you could command anything, oh yeah and you were evil…blah blah all the rest…wouldn’t you do some drinkin’ and get ya some? Pacino as John Milton (clever, clever) does it just right.
6. Jonathan Pryce in Something Wicked This Way Comes – Way before Leland Gaunt and his store there was Mr. Dark and his carnival. Basically the same idea, only I think Pryce is much more seductive in his role. Lovin’ the saucy top hat.
5. Viggo Mortensen in The Prophecy – Viggo is one of those actors that never ceases to amaze me. Apart from sharing his name with the Carpathian asskicker (Vigo) from Ghostbusters 2, he throws himself completely into every role he does. I really believed he would eat human liver with onions in Leatherface and I could totally buy him as the King of Gondor. Ergo…..he ROCKS as the Ultimate Tempter. He can be so tricksy.
4. Peter Stormare in Constantine – One thing about this guy is he pops up in the most unlikely places. And when he popped up here I was jumping with joy. The Devil kicks back and smokes a cigarette while contemplatin’ some evil. Good times. He was my number three until the next one came along. Then I had to give it up to:
3. Ray Wise in Reaper – Yeah, yeah, it’s TV I know. I don’t care. I will do what I want. And right now I want to make Ray Wise my number three. This guy brings being Lucifer to new heights. He is charming and funny and wears great suits. He may be bad…but he does it soooo good (I know that’s bad grammar. The Devil made me do it). I can’t help but smile whenever he is on screen.
2. Gabriel Byrne in End of Days - So I watched this movie again the other day and immediately said “DAMN, I love this guy.” Gabriel Byrne has this unique habit of going from priest to devil and making me want to jump both of them. I am so wrong for that I know but COME ON! If Satan really did look like that, I would be sinning my ass off…even more than I already do. I was watching big head Robin Tunney going “what the hell are you running from? He is Hot!” Yes, I know that’s what he does. He brings you into the fold by making you believe all the lies. Whatever. He’s still smokin.
1. Tim Curry in Legend – No one and I mean NO ONE could play The Legend of Darkness like Mr. Tim Curry. His character looks more like the Satan we are all familiar with from childhood, complete with big ol’ horns. He is red and stompy and has a rather nasty temper. But he is so much fun! That part I attribute to Tim. I don’t care what role he is playing…I love it. He did evil again as
Pennywise…remember? And I can’t talk enough about Frankenfurter. So when he dons all this makeup to become the head evil guy how can I not be mesmerized. And Tim is so charming I can’t imagine why Mia would be so eager to get away…okay well that unicorn thing would do it. (That was sarcasm folks. This guy scared the crap out of me)
Don’t really have an Honorable Mention today. After all, What is “honorable” about The Devil?
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