She-Wolves of the Wasteland
Before you leave because of the rating… or the fact that this film is titled She-Wolves of the Wasteland, read the review as this is the type of film that will appeal to a certain group of people. Namely people that like bad movies. Seriously… look at the title. She-Wolves of the Wasteland is one of those ridiculously horrible movies that is funnier than most big-budget comedies out there, due to its total lack of expertise, ridiculous story, and amazingly bad acting.
The film takes place in an apocalyptic wasteland that is a result of biological warfare… referred to in the film as bacteriological warfare. The diseases that ravaged the world left only a handful of men alive and a bunch of lesbians… or at least what looks like a bunch of lesbians. The cast of this movie looks like they were abducted from a Melissa Etheridge concert. I’m surprised they’re not all running around in rainbow outfits. I kept expecting to see a couple of butch looking chicks fisting each other in the background.
The world is run by an old crone with tubes running out of her head, named The Reverend Mother, who has control of a sperm bank. She impregnates some skank with some old man-spunk and she becomes pregnant with a boy-child. Somehow, she escapes her captors and flees to the desert with a lady named Phoenix. They hide out in the wilderness where random nameless chicks scrub their tits in a cascading waterfall. The baby is born and grows up without any time passing and The Reverend Mother’s hordes of butch warriors track down the woman and her big-haired protectors. What follows is an amazingly cheesy amalgamation of a TV worshipping mutant cult, dunebuggies, and topless arena fights.
The film is directed by Robert Hayes… who laughably seems to have tried with this film. Sadly, the editing is pathetic and many of the “stunts” are so poorly cut together that one can’t help but snicker. The continuity errors, boring imagery, and overall trailer trash feel of the film are the stuff that cheese legends are made of. It’s not good directing, but it is such an abysmal job that it is certainly memorable. The pacing is awful and much of the film is slow as fuck, but when the moments of high-cheese hit, it makes it all worth it.
The cast is uniformly bad. There is no acting here and everyone in the film is abysmal. Even the presence of boobs can’t make me say anything positive about the cast as most of the women in the film look like their skin is made of leather. I’m pretty sure half the chicks in this movie are packing wieners underneath their spandex. The hairstyles of these women are also laughable as it looks like they might have raided Twisted Sister’s wig collection.
She-Wolves of the Wasteland is terrible, from editing to sound design, there isn’t a single aspect of the film that is done with more skill than the Goodwill Special Thespian’s Acting Club could manage. Still, it’s a good time and with some beers and the right group of friends, you can have a good laugh at the film’s expense.
Final Synopsis: She-Wolves of the Wasteland is a wasteland of a movie. The cheese factor is high and anyone with a penchant for laughably bad movies can get some enjoyment out of this. Everyone else should probably stay away. Definitely more enjoyable in a group. For people that like movies that are so bad they are good, this would be a 7… for everyone else this is a 3.
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