Pathfinder
Just finished watching Pathfinder, and I am still not fully awake. So bare with me. If parts of this review don’t make sense its because I am had a flash back to the film, fell asleep, and could not remember what I was thinking when I left off.
Let me start by noting that this film is 88 minutes long. It felt like an eternity. I seriously thought I had lost most of the day to a 3 hour movie. I was scared to check the time. When I found out I had lost less than half of that time, it was like being born again. I had been spared the full wrath of a time loss. It was like regaining a piece of my life. This awakening experience is damn near the only reason to see this movie. If you want to gain an appreciation for your time, waste one and a half hours watching this garbage and relish in the fact that you feel like you wasted more. It will be just like regaining an hour and a half in retrospect.
I nodded off twice during the film and do not feel like I missed anything. The story picked up right from where I had fallen asleep. Apparently there was nothing more meaningful to this film beyond Hollywood’s clichéd attempt to make white people the saviors of all indigenous peoples by posing the only weapon these people had against glow in the dark skinned European invaders: a white person of their own.
If Hollywood has taught me anything, it is this: White people are invincible to all except other white people and are heroes only because they have a small minority of their kind that recognize and attempt to reverse their violent indiscretions. Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves, Tom Cruise in Last Samurai, etc. White people. Saviors coming to a theater near you.
The only other saving grace of the film was the violence. The trailers showed an ‘R’ rating that promised graphic violence throughout. This was a lie. But when there WAS violence, it was sort of entertaining. Though I do wonder why the natives have much more violent and disturbing deaths than the Vikings who mostly just died off camera or with little blood visible. Wait I figured it out. If they aren’t white, then they aren’t human and therefore the violence is less offensive. Right?
Spare yourselves. If you have half a brain, or even the tiniest inclining of social awareness, you will find this film offensive in the least, and at most a good cure for insomnia.
RELATED POSTS:
- Frontier(s) Review Once again, we have to look to foreign countries for quality horror...
- Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon is a clever film that...
- Audition Review It's hard to say that this is a horror film, when it really has little...
- Dagon Dagon is yet another movie based on an H.P. Lovecraft from director...
- The darker side of horror movies There's something exhilarating about watching a suspenseful scene from the...
- Blood Trails Blood Trails is a German movie that has already done the rounds at...
- Special Dead Movie Review Only in the realm of low budget straight to dvd horror films could you...
- Storm Warning Review Storm Warning doesent get any points for originality, at least not as far...
- Sublime Sublime is one of those topical horror movies that tries to be...
- The Roost I don’t quite agree with Fangoria, that this film is an astonishing...
No Comments
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Leave a comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
