Don’t Look in the Basement Review
Edgar Wright’s faux-trailer for the film Don’t–sandwiched between Planet Terror and Death Proof during the theatrical run of the Rodriguez/Tarantino epic Grindhouse–was easily the highlight of the 3+ hour, grade-D-cinema worshipping extravaganza. Wright, whose stellar track record includes both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, was able to capture the true essence of the late 60’s, early 70’s trash film. The faux-trailer for Don’t (see it Here) was a veritable montage of references to the classic “Don’t” films. You can almost check them off a list: Don’t Go in the House, Don’t Go in the Woods Alone and Don’t Open the Door are just a few that come to mind.
Wright’s trailer stayed true to the cheesy/creepy aesthetic pioneered by schlock-cinema maven S.F. Brownrigg, whose 1973 feature Don’t Look in the Basement is one of the defining films of what we now refer to as “grindhouse” movies.
Don’t Look in the Basement tells the story of Charlotte Beale. Recently hired as a nurse in a mental asylum, Beale learns a few hard truths: first, the staff has been killed; second, the loonies are running the place; third, there’s no escape. The line between sanity and insanity dwindles down to a thread as Beale uncovers the skeletons hanging in the asylum’s numerous closets.
I watched this film on a double-feature DVD released by VCI Entertainment (playing alongside Don’t Open the Door) and I’ve gotta say that it had some of the shittiest sound quality I’ve ever come across. It sounds like someone recorded the audio track by placing a tape recorder next to a Fisher Price turntable. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s numerous silent lulls placed throughout the film. I placed an emphasis on the word silent because they’re less devoid of sound and more filled with hissing white noise. It sounds like the boom operator recorded the dialogue in a car on the highway with the windows down. Piss-poor.
But I’m always ready to forgive a DVD its flaws if the movie is good enough. Five minutes in to Basement, I thought my prayers were answered. As a result of a bizarre psychological experiment (you need to see it to believe it) the head doctor of the institution winds up with an axe wedged between his shoulder blades. Half-an-hour later and I was bored out of my mind. It’s a shame, too, because I really wanted to like this movie. Here’s why I couldn’t:
The twists in the plot–although plentiful–are obvious to the point of being insulting. The film’s look is grating. At certain moments I found the imagery on the screen–namely the complexions of the actors–to be vulgur. The framing is atrocious and the soundtrack is ming-blowingly awful (think of those little noise-makers that kids spin around at birthday parties… yeah, it’s that bad). And honestly, with a title like Don’t Look in the Basement, you’d think that the basement would actually have something to do with the plot, right? Wrong. No such logic exists in this film. I guess I should’ve seen this coming considering that some of Brownrigg’s previous films went by the titles Keep My Grave Open and Poor White Trash 2.
Bottom Line: Don’t Look in the Basement is about as bad as they get. If you like bad, then you’ll love Basement. As an unabashed grindhouse (the era not the franchise) fanatic, I still had to struggle to find something to love in this movie. Everyone else, DON’T waste your time.
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